Building Rapport


When people are like each other, they tend to like each other. “People like people who are like themselves; or who are like how they would like to be.”

There are many ways we can create the state of rapport.

We can build rapport by creating and/or discovering things in common. We call this “mirroring” or “matching”. We can mirror interests and beliefs and the most common way to match others is through the exchange of information about each other through words and the tone of voice.

Can you think of a few people in your life that you had great rapport with from the moment you met them? can you remember specifically?

Can you remember the conversation and the questions asked? what did you have in common?

What tone of voice did you use?

What questions did you ask them?

Is it possible to ask a question that lets the conversation die?

Question don’t create rapport. Questions are just tools to dig for something.

By asking questions, we want to find something in common and “rapport is created by a feeling of commonality”.

When we feel we have something in common, we feel a spark. But there is a problem since most people try to get rapport by using words. Studies have shown that only 7% of what is communicated is transmitted through the words themselves. So, we are missing out 93% of skills which is the reason why most people are not able to get rapport in the most effective, efficient and elegant way.